Five scientific secrets to help you handle a narcissist

Five scientific secrets to help you handle a narcissistFive scientific secrets to help you handle a narcissistYou must be tired of them. Theyre everywhere. Narcissists. And if you think there are mora of them than ever, youre right.Research shows we are experiencing a narcissism epidemic.From The Narcissism Epidemic Living in the Age of EntitlementIn data from 37,000 college students, narcissistic personality traits rose just as fast as obesity from the 1980s to the present, with the shift especially zum besten vonnounced for women. The rise in narcissism is accelerating, with scores rising faster in the 2000s than in previous decades.Even music is getting mora narcissistic. And what do fruchtwein people on Twitter tweet about? Themselves, of course.(And as for selfies well, do I really need to link toany research about narcissism and selfies? No? Thank you.)Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscien ce, and moreNow we all have a littlenarcissism in us and these days we have a lot more than we need around us.Lets learn more about what narcissism is, how to deal with narcissists - and even a bit about what to do if you feel youre becoming one yourself.You have entered the selfie-free zone. Lets get to itWhats The Deal With Narcissism?As Twenge and Campbell explain inThe Narcissism Epidemic,its a myth that narcissism is just high self-esteem or that underneath it all narcissists are insecure and overcompensating.Narcissists believe they really are that awesome - and youre bedrngnis.(The latter part doesnt matter, narcissists dont think about you much at all, frankly.)How can you tell if someone is a narcissist? Its easy just ask them. Research shows narcissists feel so good about themselves they dont mind admitting it.And narcissism can be quite beneficial in the short term. They make fantastic first impressions.In job interviews and onfirst dates, narcissists get results. And i n youth, being a narcissist makes you happier.Narcissists are more likely to become leaders and narcissists who obsessively work hard are more likely to get promoted.But thestuff that works for them so well in the short term proves lethal in the long term.That job interview is great but UPenn prof Scott Barry Kaufmanexplains that after three weeks people regard narcissists as untrustworthy.And narcissists might becomeleaders but theyre not good ones.And when prestige isnt on the line, most narcissists dont work that hard.From The Narcissism Epidemic Living in the Age of Entitlementcollege students with inflated views of themselves (who think they are better than they actually are) make poorer grades the longer they are in college. They are also more likely to drop out. In another study, students who flunked an introductory psychology course had by far the highest narcissism scores, and those who made As had the lowest.Awesome first date? Yeah, but relationship satisfaction with them shows a big decline after 4 months.As adults, narcissists arent happy. And if youre around them, you wont be either.From The Narcissism Epidemic Living in the Age of EntitlementA recent psychiatric study found that the biggest consequences of narcissism- especially when other psychiatric symptoms were held constant- welches suffering by people close to them.(To learn the four rituals neuroscience research says will make you happy, click here.)So how do you deal with them? Here are 5 strategies from scientific research1) The Quick Answer DontIm going to get grief for this being the first solution but itis by far the best answerand one that we should all take to heart more often.Narcissists lack empathy, they usually dontwork hard, and in a few weeks to a few months they make the people around them miserable. And narcissism is very hard to change. So, if at all possible, just stay away.Some will say, But Im smarter than they are. I can change them Stop it, now youre being narcissist ic.If you dig 80s movies you might remember War Games. What did the computer realize about thermonuclear war? The only way to win was not to play.What do rational people scream at the TV when watching haunted house movies? GET OUT NOWWhen theres blood all over the living room, furniture is floating through the air and ghosts are speaking to you in Latin, smart people dont prepare to battle the undead, they get out immediately and make an angry phone callto their realtor.As MIT negotiation professor John Richardson says never start with, How do I make this deal? Start with, Should this deal be made? With narcissists, the answer is usually no. Its notworth it.(To learn how to be happier and more successful without being a narcissist, click here.)Okay, before the internet commenters tear me apart for the obvious answer of Dont deal with narcissists, lets move on.There are plenty of times where we just dont have a choice. You may have a narcissistic boss, co-worker or family member. Luc kily, there are answers2) Kiss Up Or Shut UpYeah, this isnt a popular answer either. Sorry. But if youre dealing with a narcissist and youre in the less powerful position (like theyre your boss) there may not be a choice. At least not right now.Clinical psychologist Al Bernstein recommends you kiss up to them or at least keep your mouth shut until you can get the heck out of there.ViaAm I The Only Sane One Working Here? 101 Solutions for Surviving Office InsanityThere is no way around this. If you want to communicate effectively with narcissists, you have to admire them, their achievements, and their toys as much as they do. Typically, this wont require any great effort. Theyll be more than happy to come up with reasons to congratulate themselves. All you have to do is listen and look interested.Theres this concept called narcissistic injury. Pointing out a narcissist isnt all they think they are can be like pulling the pin on a grenade. A grenade you have to see every day of your l ife.Realize that narcissismis an identity, just like religion or politics. When you argue about it, people dont fold or change their minds - they just hate you. And narcissists are among the most vindictive people youll ever meet.You mightreply, But Im right about them You may very well be. But that only makes the situation worse. Burst their narcissistic bubble and you will pay. Dearly.And if youre in the lower-power position in this relationship, as with an employer, well, youmay have found a way to get away from them along with two weeks severance.Reject them and theyll freak out. Act weak and theyll try to victimize you. Expose them and theyll hate you forever. (Trust me, Ive tested all these personally - and in a single conversation.) Its just not worth it.(To learn how to improve your self-esteem without becoming a narcissist, clickhere.)Alright, heres where the rubber meets the road. If you cant get away from them, and they dont have power over you, how do you deal with a n arcissist?3) Know What You Want And Get Payment Up FrontDont expect fairness. Theyre just about themselves, right? Well, okay then.Know what you want. (They will, trust me.)And then get them to pay up front with whatever it is you need before they get what they need.Al Bernstein explainsNever extend credit to, or accept promises from, a narcissist. As soon as they get what they want, they will be on to the next thing, forgetting whatever they said they would do for you.Sometimes they make promises they dont intend to keep, but just as often, they merely forget. Either way, you should keep a ledger in your mind and make aya you get what they dangle in front of you before you give them what they want. With other people, this mercenary approach might seem insulting. Narcissists will respect you for it. Everything in their world is quid pro quo. They will rarely be offended by people looking out for themselves.Dealing with a narcissist regularly is likehaving a pet tiger you always have to be careful that one day hes gonna see you as dinner. But if you dont have a choice, negotiate hard. This is nobody to be win-win with.Always reward behavior, neverwords. They get what they want when they do what you want.Now Ive been very negative toward narcissists (understandably) but theycan be worked with and can even be good employees. Yes, really.Why? Because they want something. They really needto look good. And if you can align your desireswith their desires, you mayfind yourself with an unstoppable achievement machine.From The Narcissism Epidemic Living in the Age of EntitlementOne possibility is to set up a situation where acts of caring and kindness are aligned with admiration and success. In other words, show narcissists that they can get their narcissistic needs met by acting like decent, caring people.Give them a way to be impressive if they do what they are told. This makes them much easier to deal with than lazy people, trust me.Just make sure you get what you wa nt first.(To learnhow to negotiate from the FBIs lead hostage negotiator, click here.)But what if youre not in a position to reward them with what they crave? How can you keep a rampaging narcissist in line?4) Ask Them, What Would People Think?Narcissists dont feel guilt, only shame.Theyre all about appearances, right?If they believesomethingwill hurt their reputation, they will think twice.Al Bernstein explainsIf you are in a position to advise, ask what people would think. Narcissists are not stupid there are just things, like other peoples feelings, that they rarely consider. If you have their ear, dont tell them how people might react instead, ask probing questions. Narcissists are much more likely to act on ideas that they think they thought up themselves.Emphasize community and use disappointment, rather than anger, to keep them in line.They want to look good. So help them look good by helping them do good.(To learn an FBI behavior experts secrets for how to get people to like you, click here.)This piece is about how to deal with narcissists well, what if the narcissist is you? Its an epidemic, remember? And if youre not a narcissist, you might be infected. As the studies show, plenty of others have been recently.So how do you avoid becoming a narcissist - or stop being one?5) Be DexterWe all have some narcissism in us. Its natural.And narcissism may work for you now but, as we saw, the odds are very very much against it bringing you success, good relationships and happiness in the long term.So how do you stop being a narcissist or make sure you dont become one? You need to make sure you maintain empathy for others.Stop trying to stand out, get attention and be so darn special. Al Bernstein saysNarcissists will be further damaged by just about any situation in which they are treated as different from ordinary people.Its okay to be ordinary. (And ifthat concept terrifies you, you are already on the narcissistic side of things, so read this piece on empat hy now.)Problem is, overcoming narcissism is hard and takes a long time. And if youre a hard-working narcissist, it may be bringing you enough rewards in the short term to feel like its a good idea for the long term.What do you do then? Redirect your narcissism.I offer you a new role model Dexter. Yes, the serial killer who kills serial killers. (I know, Dexter is a psychopath not a narcissist but, jeez, work with me here, okay?)Dexter has a problem - a serious problem, no doubt - but he tries to be good.Dexter acts ordinary. He strugglesto develop empathy. And he redirects his impulses to do thingsthatbenefit other people.(Thats where the comparison ends. Im not telling you to kill anyone, okay?)This attitude (sans chopping people up) can produce results.From The Narcissism Epidemic Living in the Age of Entitlementif you cant stop feeding the ego, you can align your narcissism with behaviors that help the community.Im sure a lot of narcissists ansturm charities. And they get laud ed, praised and admired. Im okay with that kind of narcissist.(To learn how to fight your own narcissism, click here.)Okay, lets round this up and get the final secret on how to deal withthe me-me-me peopleSum UpHeres how to deal with a narcissistDont. Think haunted house. Get out of there first chance you can.Kiss Up Or Shut Up. If theyre your boss or they have power over you, fighting makes it worse.Know What You Want And Get Payment Up Front. Dont assume theyll play fair.Ask, What would people think? They want to look good. If they think theyll look bad, theyll behave.Be Dexter. If the dark side of The Force has you, channel your need to look awesome into helping others.In the long run, narcissists almost always lose. We see plenty on TV, but those are the very few that got lucky. And, trust me, theyre not all happy.Stay away if you can,otherwise you will be victimized by them or, even worse, you will become one of them.When I spoke to Stanford professorBob Sutton, he told me his 1 piece of advice to students was thisWhen you take a job take a long look at the people youre going to be working with - because the odds are youre going to become like them, they are not going to become like you.Andif you spend more time with good people you will become, um, good-er.Heres Yale professor Nicholas ChristakisWeve shown that altruistic behavior ripples through networks and so does meanness. Networks will magnify whatever they are seeded with. They will magnify Ebola and fascism and unhappiness and violence, but also they will magnify love and altruism and happiness and information.Every chance you get, surround yourself with people who are good to you. And be good to them.Dont fight narcissism. Starve it.Join over 285,000 readers.Get a free weekly update via emailhere.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily sch edule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people

Building a Better Dummy

Building a Better Dummy Building a Better Dummy Building a Better DummyRollovers account for only two percent of car crashes yet are responsible for one third of fatalities on the road, says Jason Kerrigan, mechanical engineering professor at the University of Virginia and a principal investigator for the schools Center for Applied Biomechanics. Interestingly enough, the work of his team has been in part about looking at rollover safety testing from an angle that could be easy to overlook that of the crash test dummies taking the hits during testing.First of all, rollovers can be devastating, he says. When you consider all the Gs you can be dealing with, you can end up fully ejected out of the car without a seatbelt as a passenger but, even the drivers, for example, can also find themselves in the top corner of the car.Funded by a grant from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, they are out to improve the dummies used in the testing process and it could have a huge pot ential effect, he says.A vehicle before a rollover test. Image University of Virginia / Sanjay SuchakWe wanted to do a biofidelic analysis on how much a dummy acts like a real human, he explains. We did match testing between dummies and a human surrogate. If at low speed, you might use a human volunteer but these tests were too high speed so we used human cadavers. We learned the dummies needed to be changed. We wanted to modify an existing dummy and that work incorporates not just making it look like a cadaver but making it look like a breathing human.They came to learn that the dummy spines were too stiff. In terms of articulation, the human spine has joints between every pair of vertebrae and there are many joints all the way up, much different than with dummies, he says. A big issue is head and neck injury. We believe by increasing the joints and changing stiffness, it will have better prediction.Modeling, as you might have guessed, was a major aspect of their work. We took a mo del of the human body that was created by existing software. We saw some limited functionality so my Ph.D. student Qi Zhang went back to the model and did some removing and also added some musculature that wasnt there, like torso and abdomen, and simulated their effects. He worked ultimately on muscle modeling to improve this muscle or reflexive response.In the end, Kerrigan believes they showed that the dummy doesnt really match kinematically. We asked if it should be like a cadaver because rollover is at lower acceleration for side impact, so we were using a commercially available model that allowed us to predict active muscle response. The great thing with the computer is we could run 20 tests on it in the time it takes to do one test in the laboratory.The next step to him is to modify the actual dummy components. While we can make proposed changes to the dummy, we are not in the position to do the fabrication end and, at some point, someone may want to do that, he says. Id like to see it go much further, and hopefully it will.Eric Butterman is an independent writer. For Further Discussion We wanted to modify an existing dummy and that work incorporates not just making it look like a cadaver but making it look like a breathing human.Prof. Jason Kerrigan, University of Virginia

Why every manager needs to hear criticism and bad news

Why every manager needs to hear criticism and bad newsWhy every manager needs to hear criticism and bad newsIs there someone on your kollektiv who finds fault with everything?I really dont like the new process you shared with us last week. And I think our meetings have been a waste of time. If youd give me more space, Id get way more done.This Complainer makes teammates who nod a lot, fly in formation - and who dont have a bad word to say about anything or anyone (especially you) - look pretty good in comparison.But employees who never or rarely take issue with you, the team, or the work also come with a big downside. They may sound dreamy, but they make it far easier for you to slip out of touch with crucial information. Information that could improve processes, teamwork, results, your leadership approach, and frankly, YOU.Non-Complainers pose a special risk if youre the kind of leader who swerves to avoid hitting undue disagreement, ruffled feathers, and criticism. If you dont li ke to bring up tough subjects, and they dont like to bring up tough subjects, who will?When a leader fails, it is often said - by way of explanation - that he or she had fallen out of touch. But elend out of touch with the good news. Out of touch with the bad news, which is far harder for employees to share. Employees fear upsetting the boss. They feel complaining will be career-limiting. Or just expect that sharing alternative viewpoints will be a grand waste of time and breath.To maximize leadership success you MUST know not just the good but also the bad and the ugly. If you dont cultivate the art of collecting sentiments that can be hard to hear, youll pay a price. Youll miss out on good ideas, youll slow your pace of leadership skill development, and good employees may leave.So how do you get people to open up and share their frustrations or criticisms? A few pointersAskAs Woody Allen once said, Half of success is just showing up. You may have to ask for people to share thei r frustrations or alternative ideas a few times and in a few different ways until you hit the jackpot. Its scary to share critiques or negative sentiments you suspect the boss may not want to hear. Once someone starts to share, be sure to listen intently. Playback what they said in your own words to check for understanding. Take notes. Ask follow up questions. Stay calm, reflective, and thoughtful. (All this buys you time to think as well as to get the fuller story.)ThankIf you feel someone has struggled to share a critical insight, or if a team member offers up something that gives you an emotional jolt, it is the PERFECT moment to share your appreciation for that persons honesty. Even if every cell in your body is feeling the opposite of appreciation. Take a deep breath while mustering as much genuine positive sentiment as you can.Be falliblePoint out to the team when youre wrong. Dont be perfect. Make it clear you rely on others as much as yourself for insight. If a leader cultiv ates a veneer of near perfection or always-being-right, people are likelier to stop telling them the truth about whats (really) happening. No one wants to rain on that leaders parade by pointing out that the emperor has no clothes. Which strengthens the out-of-touch leaders sense of being infallible and the doom loop continues.I regularly walk leaders through 360 feedback, a powerful process for confidentially surveying team members to learn what is working/not working about a specific leaders approach. 360 reports often contain wonderful validation for what a leader is doing right but may also include news that is hard to hear. News that stings, in the short run.But even in the toughest of cases, Ive never had a manager who didnt confess a few months later that they were glad to have gotten that difficult feedback. Because it enabled them to start to fix things.As they say, Better the devil you know, then the devil you dont. Cultivate your ability to gracefully solicit and accept criticism, bad news, and alternative points of view. Cultivate at least a little bit of the Complainer in every single team member. And try not to take things personally. Its all about the business, finding ways to work more effectively with each other, and collectively working our way to the best answers.

Customize this Outstanding Hospital Administrator Resume Sample

Customize this Outstanding Hospital Administrator Resume SampleCustomize this Outstanding Hospital Administrator Resume SampleCreate Resume Carolina Swanson-Jones100 Broadway LaneNew Parkland, CA, 91010Cell (555) 987-1234example-emailexample.comProfessional SummaryHighly trained Hospital Administrator with extensive experience in public and private medical centers. Excellent ability to network and liaison with people from all points in the health care delivery system. Detail oriented and highly organized administrator.Core QualificationsEffective leaderOutstanding communicatorExcellent people skillsActive listenerTenacious problem solverCreative thinkerExperienceJanuary 2010 to May 2012Happy Valley Hospital- New Cityland, CAHospital AdministratorOversaw all administrative and management aspects of 1,100 bed general hospital.Responsible for the effective operation of all medical center departments.Created and developed a new trauma center attached to the emergency department.Responsi ble for overseeing the development of annual budgets for institution. January 2014 to PresentNew Cityland Hospice- New Cityland, CAHospital AdministratorChief administrative officer of 100 bed hospice.Responsible for overseeing all professional personal at facility.Developed comprehensive family support program.Oversaw all fundraising for non-profit hospice, including successfully obtaining various grants.Education2009 University of California, New Cityland, CAMasters Degree, Healthcare AdministrationCustomize Resume

Getting the Best Resume Work

Getting the Best Resume Work Keeping your resume updated is also a fantastic means to chart your private growth. Resume objectives can be a little controversial. Resume objectives are important since they are typically the very first thing a prospective employer reads. As a result, while your resume objective should incorporate information on the career that you would like, you also wish to spell out why you are the perfect candidate for the job. Make certain its tailored to not merely the position, but the provider also. Focus on how you would like to grow within the provider. Determine where you see yourself in the organization in five decades and what specific goals you mean to do in your very first year with the organization. Rather than mentioning ways to help your organization succeed, state directly that you are able to help XYZ Company to succeed. Get the Scoop on Resume Work Before Youre Too Late In your interview, you will acquire open questions, therefore its a v ery good concept to have strong opinions. In various ways, an objective replaces a lot of the detail you would set in your professional experience section. The resume objective statement ought to take the format of a job-focused description of what its possible to promote the employer. In the majority of instances, a resume objective is simply a couple of sentences long. What You Should Do About Resume Work Starting in the Next Nine Minutes Employers like to realize that you have work experience of some type, at least. When youre crafting your resume objective, you should concentrate on particular abilities and experiences which are directly associated with the job. For instance, it might state some of your previous accomplishments, and move on to the sorts of accomplishments you would like to achieve in the future (ideally, accomplishments you wish to achieve for the organization youre applying to work for). Most high school students have a tendency to make an application for a food services position. Whatever They Told You About Resume Work Is Dead Wrong...And Heres Why Without the certification, it is going to be mission impossible to find the job. Keys Skills Under Your Headline The third idea is to place your key skills below your headline. With regard to qualifications, getting the most suitable education and certifications ought to be in your Surgical Tech skills list. First off, we should determine what kind of job seeker youre.For instance, if youre in marketing, try and enhance the marketing for a little small business online. Skills-based resumes emphasize your training instead of professional experience, which you might not have already. All our resume templates are in Microsoft Word, thats the simplest program to use. Then, though the database library will call withContext repeatedly, it is going to stay on precisely the same dispatcher and adhere to a fast-path. There are a couple of dozen different resume templates readily ava ilable online, but a lot of them suck. If you submit your application online, its also advisable to have a chance to attach your resume. So make certain your resume is simple to read by making koranvers there is lots of white space around the text, particularly headings. Sooner or later, everything on your resume needs to contribute to its highest possible relevancy and readability. Entry-level objectives can be particularly hard to write since you likely dont have loads of work experience, but you do want to solidify how you know the kind of career youre searching for. You can obviously cite the job as a chance to create certain abilities and acquire new knowledge but dont portray it like a stepping stone to a different firm. A resume objective that could apply to anybody or any kind of job isnt valuable. A resume objective can explain why youre qualified for the job, even if its the case that you do not own a lot of related experience. Youll locate a story about someone wh o said the incorrect thing on social networking and lost her job. The very first thing you ought to do is to place work experience in the center section of your resume. Conversely, should you happen to locate your dream job, obtaining a ready-to-go resume in your back pocket will allow you to jump at the opportunity before it disappears. The words you write needs to be straightforward and simple to read, permitting you to receive your point across. What You Must Know About Resume Work When you attempt to figure out what things to do with your career you require true coaching, therapy. A decent skills list is imperative on any resume for teens. It is often as easy as stating your preferred job title, or it may show where you are, and where you aspire to go in your career. Do not invent a work history that you dont have.

The Debate Over Resume Writing Tips High Scohool

The Debate Over Resume Writing Tips High Scohool Lies Youve Been Told About Resume Writing Tips High Scohool Employing a custom resume instead of a generic one is going to greatly increase your odds of an bewerbungsgesprch, as youll be a better match in the view of the reader. Utilizing a high school student resume template can help you to fill your resume to your strong points. For you to do so, you must get a notion of the types of resume. Utilizing a student resume template can help you save you time and effort in addition to offer you ideas on which sections to include and the way to complete them as a way to pull in the proper employers. Heres What I Know About Resume Writing Tips High Scohool There are particular pitfalls you want to stay away from when writing a high school resume. A superb way to begin is to check at someentry level resume examplesto give you a concept of exactly what you should include on your high school resume. Breaking into the working world can be trying for a high school student with little if any work experience. Writing your initial high school resumecan look like a daunting take. If you wish to develop into a high school principal, you can begin acquiring the qualification and skills you need now to produce the leap whenever you are ready. In terms of the communication skills, the majority of people have them a priori. Conveying your special teaching qualities and accomplishments to a possible high school is critical to landing a work interview. Even though the accomplishment of finally graduating school is quite exciting, it is likewise very intimidating. What to Expect From Resume Writing Tips High Scohool? If youre a student, it is likely that youre surrounded by means of a slew of resources. If youre sending a resume to a company, it needs to be a given that youre obtainable for an interview and you will provide references if requested. Youre probably creative. There are various sorts of resumes with co rresponding purposes. Choosing Resume Writing Tips High Scohool Is Simple Bear in mind, the single and most important aim of a resume is to get an interview. The goal is to show youre an ideal candidate for the position youre applying for. Including professional goals can assist you by giving employers a concept of where youre going, and the way you wish to arrive there. Once youve got a notion of what you need and get started writing your resume, its simple to start jotting down all your credentials and forget that youre writing your resume for an audience. Top Resume Writing Tips High Scohool Choices For that reason, it is a price of the work hunt process worth paying. Start with thinking through what information you wish to include. Attempt to comprehend the market of the organization you are asking for work, and identify what type of difficulties they may be going through. Know the purpose of your resume Some people today write a resume like the intention of the docume nt was supposed to land work. Resume Writing Tips High Scohool Features Now you have the school hiring managers attention that you dont need to lose it. You can readily get caught. Resumes give potential employers a means to learn about applicants quickly and readily, and theyre your very first step toward new job opportunities. They are created and provided to a potential employer to attract the employers attention.